


Sweet Italian Nothings

by ScientificCorgi



Series: Minizerk Oneshots [3]
Category: The Ultimate Sidemen
Genre: Cute, Fluff, He flirts with Simon, Josh basically learns Italian, M/M, No Smut, minizerk, whoops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-08
Updated: 2016-05-08
Packaged: 2018-06-07 04:36:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6785476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScientificCorgi/pseuds/ScientificCorgi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Josh has been learning Italian for six months and decides to flirt with Simon in Italian. Upon Googling the meaning of some phrases and coming up with his own, Simon confronts Josh.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sweet Italian Nothings

Josh hung his coat on the pegs near the door and walked up the stairs to his room. He never shouted to tell everyone he was home because the others could be recording. Upon entering his room, Josh placed the rucksack down by his desk and gently sat down in the chair, retrieving the notebook filled with vocabulary. He scanned through the pages of notes he had taken. The newest topic he learned was ‘love and relationships’; he had been looking forward to this topic because he loved to drop random lines of Italian when recording to confuse the other guys. He thought he could attempt to jokingly flirt with Simon without the blond knowing what he was saying. Josh loved the look of confusion on his face.

“Amo il tuo sorriso…” His eyes flicked over to the translation. ‘I love your smile.’ The corners of his lips curved upwards slightly. “Brillare gli occhi…” ‘Your eyes sparkle.’

-

Simon sat eagerly, pen and notepad in hand waiting for Josh to speak. He had been waiting all day for him to come home and practise. Josh always did this every Friday, and not once had Simon wanted to find out what he was saying. Today though, he was curious.

Simon looked over the four phrases he had picked out, standing up and walking quietly to his room.

Amo il tuo sorriso

Brillare gli occhi

Sei molto carina e adorabile

Sorrido quando si dice il mio nome

He had no idea what any of those meant but he did not care; whatever phrase Josh said in Italian sent butterflies to his stomach. The way the words flowed on the page and in speech was the reason why Italian was Simon’s favourite language.

After closing the door gently, the blond turned towards his first monitor and opened Google Translate. He inputted the first line.

‘I love your smile.’

Simon’s heart skipped a beat, then he entered the next three phrases.

‘Your eyes sparkle.’

‘You are very cute and adorable.’

‘I smile when you say my name.’

It felt like hours had ticked by when Simon re-read all of the translations. Surely the comments were not about him. As cliché as the lines were, Simon still found them eye-wateringly beautiful. 

Simon decided to attempt to flirt back. He searched the internet for some Italian pick-up lines and came across one of the best lines he could find. “Il mio pene si illum- illumina quando sei in… giro?” The line repeated itself ten times in his head. ‘Il mio pene si illumine quando sei in giro…’

He eventually recognised it just before Josh came into his room.

“What do you want for dinner?” Josh stood by the door, fingers tapping along the length of it.

“Uh…” Simon stuttered. “I don’t mind, you choose. I wouldn’t mind chicken or pizza though, we haven’t had that in a while.”

“We had pizza two days ago,” The older one’s eyes grounded themselves to the floor. “but I guess we’ve got one or two more.” He nodded and shut the door.  
-  
“Hey Josh?” Simon took a bite out of the pizza slice he was eating.

“Hmm?”

“Il mio pene si illumina quando sei in giro!” Josh’s laughter immediately filled the room and Josh nearly choked to death on the pizza that had just entered his mouth.

“Oh my-“ Josh laughed again as Simon raised an eyebrow in confusion. “Fuck, Simon!”

“What? Did I say something wrong?” Josh calmed down then pulled out his phone.

“Everyone’s going to know about this. They have to, oh my God, Simon.” Simon, even more confused than before, dropped his pizza slice and demanded to know what he just said.

“You just said-“ Josh giggled again. “you just said that your dick lights up when I’m around-“ He continued to laugh and Simon’s cheeks blushed a bright shade of pink as he silently cursed himself.

“Oh. I thought it meant ‘my heart lights up when I see you’.”

“No, Simon, oh my fucking God.” Josh finished tweeting this moment of hilarity and got up to stand behind Simon, his head nestled against the younger man’s blond hair. His arms wrapped around Simon’s middle and Simon continued to eat. “You’re really funny, you know.”

Simon blushed again. “I didn’t know it meant that, I’m so sorry.”

“No, it’s fine.” A moment of silence surrounded the boys. “I could teach you how to say some things.”

“Yeah okay, that sounds fun. I need to edit first but later yes.”

Josh heaved himself up on the table and observed as Simon ate slowly.

“Wait- did you Tweet what I said?”

“Yep.” The taller boy sighed let out a silent ‘fuck you’.


End file.
